Couples' Sleeping Positions (and What They Mean)

couples sleeping positions

April 22, 2019


Happy? Sappy? Needy?

What couples’ sleeping positions say about them

Just like most people settle into a preferred sleep position, so do most couples. Here we break down the psychology of what couples’ sleeping positions generally say about their bond. Your psychology may vary, so no need to necessarily panic and book a couples’ therapy session. (We just want everyone to be happy!) OK, to the positions:

Back to back and separated. Ironically, the dual position that seems the most … distant … is actually a sign that you’re secure in your bond. No need to hold on to each other or even risk snoring toward the other. Just a little alone time — together. Who doesn’t need a little space?

sleeping back to back

Back to back and touching. Similar to the above, with a little less space. But nothing says “I’m completely comfortable and at ease with you” then resting your butts together.

Facing each other but not touching. Not quite as fiercely independent as the former position, this position indicates more of a need for commitment. (Also, how do you drift off to sleep with someone staring at you?)

Spooning. Simple one — the spooner is protective over the spoonee. It’s lovely … until it gets a little too clingy (like if the spoonee keeps moving farther away and the spooner keeps trying to catch up). Also, arm cramps.

couples spooning

Side sleeping, side-by-side, facing the same way, not touching: One of you is looking out for the other. But not in a stifling way. Cuuuute.

Completely intertwined. If you’re hanging onto each other all night, like you’re on a flotilla in the middle of the Pacific, this indicates potential codependency.

Different bedrooms entirely. Hey ... at least if you’re both on an Allswell hybrid mattress, you’re probably both getting your solid 8.


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